SCRAMBLED EGGS ANYONE?

IF YOU’VE EVER RECIEVED A MIND-SMASHING MESSAGE OR EMAIL FROM SOMEONE, AND AFTER READING THEIR POOR ATTEMPT AT MANIPULATION, ALTHOUGH YOU SEE WHERE THEY PUT FORTH SOME EFFORT, YOU’RE NOT ALONE. YOU JUST HAVE TO LAUGH IT OFF- TRUST ME. I DON’T KNOW IF THIS SOUNDS ARROGANT OR NOT, I DON’T REALLY CARE, BUT IF YOU’RE GOING TO ONE-UP SOMEONE AT LEAST WORK ON YOUR DELIVERY BEFORE SENDING SOME UNINTELLIGENT DRIBBLE. I FIND IT INSULTING AT MOST, WASTED ENERGY ON THE TIME IT TOOK TO READ IT, AND SOMETHING CLOSE TO A PESKY LITTLE BEE THAT WON’T BUZZ OFF.

HOWEVER…

IT DID DO ONE THING, WHETHER I WANT TO ADMIT IT OR NOT, IT MADE ME DO A LOOKBACK AT MYSELF WHEN I KNEW THIS PARTICULAR BUZZKILL. COME TO FIND OUT I WASN’T IN A VERY GOOD PLACE. AWWWW.

I USED TO THINK THAT A WOMAN WAS A PERSON WHO NEEDED TO BE NEEDED BY SOMEONE AND THAT DISGUSTED ME. (I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW WHERE I CONJURED THAT CRAP FROM). I WAS SO FLAT ON EMOTION THAT I DIDN’T CARE ABOUT MYSELF MUCHLESS NEEDING SOMEONE ELSE…OR SO I THOUGHT (I CAN POST THIS WITHOUT CAUSING A RIFF WITH MY BF BECAUSE HE’S AWESOME AND HE KNOWS HOW MUCH I NEED HIM. YES, I SAID IT AND IT DOESN’T BOTHER ME IN THE LEAST). BACK TO MY RAMBLINGS… MY ATTITUDE WAS THE “BORED-WITH-LIFE” KIND. I THOUGHT THAT I DID EVERYTHING THAT I CONSIDERED IMPORTANT TO ME EARLIER IN MY LIFE AND I NO LONGER FOUND INTEREST IN ANYTING– I JUST DIDN’T CARE. COME TO FIND OUT THOUGH, MUCH LATER IN LIFE, (THE UNIVERSE HAS A WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR) THIS BLASÉ BEHAVIOR CAME FROM “STORING”. YES, I SAID STORING – STORING FACTS, EMOTIONS, CONVERSATIONS, ETC. AND AFTER A WHILE THIS OVERLOAD OF DUSTY FILES TOOK ITS TOLL ON MY MIND AND MY BODY. (I MAY HAVE MENTIONED THIS IN A PREVIOUS POST, BUT I THOUGHT IT WORTH MENTIONING AGAIN IN CASE SOMEONE ELSE IS EXPERIENCING THIS. IT’S IMPORTANT TO GET IT ALL OUT, ALTHOUGH NOT AS EASY TO DO AS ONE MIGHT THINK) THE ACT OF STORING THINGS CAME VERY NATURAL TO ME, TOO NATURAL IN FACT. AFTER A LITTLE TIME OF REPEATING THIS NASTY BEHAVIOR, IT TRAINS YOUR MIND AND BODY AND YOU START TO DO IT WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT. FINALLY ONE DAY IT COMES OUT BECAUSE WHERE ELSE IS IT GOING TO GO? YES, YOU’VE GOT IT. THEN YOU TURN INTO ONE OF THOSE WIERDOS SENDING OUT WAY-LATE, ANGRY EMAILS TRYING TO LOOK FOR RESOLVE OR CLOSURE, OR WHO KNOWS WHAT.

SO WHAT DOES THE MIND SAY TODAY? IT SAYS TO GET IT ALL OUT THERE. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHOSE FEELINGS GET HURT, WHO GETS OFFENDED, WHO IS PLEASED, WHO IS NOT, OR WHO WILL HAVE AN OPINION. IT REALLY DOES NOT MATTER. THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU ARE TRUE TO YOURSELF. YOU HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH WHERE YOU ARE MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY. IT MAY SEEM LIKE A TASK, BUT IN THE END IT’S WORTH IT. STAY TUNED WITH YOUR BODY AND YOUR EMOTIONS SO THAT YOU CAN ALWAYS BE THE PILOT OF YOUR CONSCIENCOUSNESS. WHICH BY THE WAY, IS WHO YOU ARE. IF YOU THINK ABOUT THAT, YOU’LL REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT THAT TRULY IS FOR THE SELF.

HAPPY WEDNESDAY TO EVERYONE AND REMEMBER, DON’T BE AFRAID TO LOOK WITHIN.